How I Met My Little One...A Birth Story

     So what started out as a desired med-free, specifically chosen hospital, naturally started labor turned out to be something completely different. This is a true story. Only the times may have been changed to protect the fact that I still have pregnancy brain.

     I was due Nov. 17. Little one had yet to get off his lazy butt and make an appearance so I went to my ultrasound that was scheduled for 8:15 Monday morning at the hospital across from my doctor’s office (He delivers at two hospitals, my ultrasound was not at the hospital I was registered to give birth at). I took my mom because I thought she would want to see her grandbaby. I’m glad I did. The tech did her thing then went and got a doctor. He came in, asked about my medical history, and said my fluids were low and that they wanted to deliver.

     It took a second to register. When it did, I looked at my mom and said in my head “Holy sh!t! @#$@$%&*%#$@#@$%!!!!!”. What I said was, “Holy crap.”

     So I got settled in my room about noon. I had yet to eat anything because we were going to go out to breakfast. My doctor approved a full, regular diet for me even though I was being induced. I was literally the only person on that floor of the hospital that was allowed that. My doctor liked me. So I ate for the girls that couldn't!

     They put a Foley in around 2 p.m. and I was 4cm by 5:30. They started Pitocin a little while after that and broke my water. Contractions were coming fast, hard, and all in my back. An hour or so in my body kicked in and was having natural contractions on top of that so they turned the Pitocin off. Thank God. Nobody should have to endure a 4 minute contraction. I was still med free at this point.

     Nick was great! Helping me through it all. About two-thirds of the way through I could no longer take the back labor. The words “Billy don’t be a hero” went through my head. I said "epidural!" And I got it. I didn’t even feel it go in. Probably because I had a contraction start right when they put it in. It’s hard to sit really still when you have a needle and a contraction in your back. Silver lining: I wasn’t thinking about the needle. I hate needles.

     I could still feel the contractions through the epidural and extra shot of pain med they gave me. I felt like something was wrong which I voiced to a nurse. I kept insisting they check me.  LO wouldn’t rotate. He was sunny side up. And the way he was laying I was 7cm on one side of my cervix and 10 cm on the other. So they had me on my hands and knees over a bean bag chair for an hour and a half. He finally turned, I finally dilated. Except for a small section. They said I could wait or try and push him past it. I pushed. And we were ready to go.

     I started pushing at 5:55 a.m. Tuesday. He was at -1 and I had him at +2 in two pushes! At 6:18 a.m.  I was holding my handsome, wrinkly, crying baby. And I fell fast and hard in love. I am proud of that 23 minute push. Hoo-rah!!

     Earlier, while laying on the bean bag chair, in what I call the “Tipping Cow Position”, I decided I would start slowing down my epi so I would be more in control during delivery. Delivery didn’t hurt. I got a 2^nd degree tear and one up the top too. Ouch.

     Every time Nick and I talk about the experience he gets a smile and tells me how amazing I was. I’m just proud that I kept my wits about me. I was never more focused in my life. So even though I got induced, pain meds and delivered at a hospital that I didn’t choose, I would do it all over again.

     Kendrick John was 7 lbs. 1 oz. and 18 3/4 in. at birth. At his first appointment, when he was six days old, he weighed 7 lbs. 8 oz and was 20 in. long. I am not going to be able to keep up with this little guy!

If being pregnant has taught me anything...

     I have always been pretty good about being patient. Most of the time. Unless I am super excited about something and have the power to get it myself right away. Being pregnant is way different. For obvious reasons. Apparently, you can't just go out and get a baby at the drop of a hat, and sadly a stork doesn't just drop them off. You have to get through nine months of stuff. Ugh.

     Even though this was an oops pregnancy I have been wanting babies, and dogs, and picket fences. Okay,  maybe just babies and dogs. So once we found out we were pregnant I thought "Awesome! Here we go!" It did not take me long to realize I was not born with the glowing, serenity gene and love of being pregnant. Just thinking of those (lucky) women stirs my third trimester nausea.

     The time has actually flown by. It is everything else making me want to just have this little guy already and get it over with. I am ready. I am waiting. Let's do this. Nine months is a long time to day dream and plan and freak out. I can only get his room ready so many times before it gets ridiculous. Come to think of it, it probably already has.

     I feel as if I just roam the halls of my house and imagine what it is going to be like. I can't count the amount of times I just walk into his room and look around. And if I go through his clothes one more time, I may just call it what it is and become a self-certified creeper.

     My silver lining is this. I have learned patience through being with Nick. He is a handful, in a fun and loving way. My eye sockets hurt some days from the excessive eye rolling. I have learned patience from anxiously awaiting the arrival of our son. I only have two and a half-ish weeks left until I can confirm my suspicion that he is, in fact, the most handsome little man ever. By the time he gets here, I will have the patience of a saint. Maybe then I will acquire that mythical glow I keep hearing about.

     If anything, it will give me time to practice for when he gets old enough and both he and Nick take turns driving me crazy. I look forward to it :)

There should be an application process...

    Not really, of course. But the article I have linked in this post saddens me and my heart breaks for this little guy.
   
     I'm not saying I am the most perfectly qualified person to be popping out a kid. I don't believe such a person exists. But I do believe there should be a bar set. Not everyone should reproduce. And I can back up such statements with this particular article.

     This poor kid doesn't stand a chance. And these women are perfect examples of why not every person deserves the freedom to have children. Say what you will about my opinion, but I wish people like this were not allowed to have babies.

     I know that this would never happen. But it makes me sick that this woman refuses to see what a blessing it is to even be able to have children in the first place while capable, loving people have to prove themselves and spend Lord knows how much to foster and adopt children they could never have. This child deserves much more and I pray that the system does not fail him.

     I understand the difficulty of fighting an addiction, if she even cared enough to fight it. But if your child is not at the very top of your priority list at all times, and you put them in situations such as these, you do not deserve them.

     Rant over.

Things I Want My Son to Know...

     I have often thought of things I would put in this post and the more I thought the harder it became to write. So here I go. No thinking. Just writing.

     I always saw myself as a mom but I never actually thought it would happen. Now that it is happening, I think of what I want my son to know. I can't teach him everything. And as hard as it is to admit, I don't know everything. Shocking, I know. Some things he will learn on his own. A lot of which I'm sure in hindsight I am going to wish I had taught him first.

     But here are a few things I know that I will want him to hear from me.

1. Be the man you would want your son to be. We all have a vision of our son growing up to be, for lack of a better comparison, Prince Charming. Perfection in all things. We know that isn't possible but don't be a toad. Treat people with kindness and respect, even the most undeserving.

2. Your clothes are not wearable napkins. Don't be a slob. Cleanliness is next to momliness :) And your future wife will appreciate and respect a man who knows how to pick up after himself. Which brings me to...

3. Gender stereotypes are not excuses to get away with not doing things that are a "woman's job".  You will be surprised the response you get for folding the laundry and putting it away, or putting a nice home-cooked meal on the table.

4. If you find yourself in conflict, use your words. If you are anything like your dear, old ma then you will be blessed with a silver tongue. Defuse. Don't ignite.

5. Chivalry is not dead, people are just lazy. Just because you get the girl doesn't mean you automatically keep her. Relationships take work. Time wears people thin and we forget that the smallest of gestures bring the biggest smiles to our hearts. You should see your Grandma smile when Grandpa opens her car door for her. Again, it's the little things.

6. I don't care how old you are, I will never be too busy or not have time for you. 

7.  Real men really do wear pink. Don't get sucked into the stereotypes. It is very restricting and an immature way of thinking.

8. Family first. Always.

9. Always encourage. Never discourage. Even if somebody's dreams or ideas don't make sense to you, be there to give them a nudge forward if they get stuck.

10. Embrace change. We live in a fast world. With change comes new opportunities. New things to be learned. Never shy away from things that are new or different for you will only be limiting yourself.

11. There is a bright side. Choose to always see that first and foremost.

12. Crying doesn't make you any less of a man. You will very often hear your father describing everything he does as manly. Most of the time he is just being a goof. You will also often hear people say that men don't cry. Crying is just an expression of an emotion. That would be like telling you not to show your excitement on Christmas morning. That's just ridiculous. Never be afraid to shed tears. Sometimes it is exactly what you need to do.

13. I love you.

Bartender!! A round of pregnancy tests for the ladies!!

     I thought I had seen it all. And to be honest I'm not quite sure how to take this. I came across this article about an organization that is endeavoring to have pregnancy test vending machines put in bars around Minneapolis, Minnesota.

     While I encourage efforts of spreading awareness of early testing and proper prenatal care, I am almost embarrassed for the first person to excuse themselves from their table, only to stop at that machine on their way to the bathroom. Please tell me it is at least in an inconspicuous place. In my opinion, a bar is no place to be taking that kind of test. If you are worried about being pregnant, why would you wait to get to the bar to take a test anyway?! Take it at home for crying out loud!

    And it is very possible for a woman to not know she is pregnant. There is a show about it, and everything! I know I'm not the only one that watches TLC.

     But in closing, I raise my virgin strawberry daiquiri to those that are championing a very worthy cause despite the unusual method!

Pinterest may end up raising my child...

     ...because I have an addiction to pinning.

     Wow! It does feel better to get it out!! Only 11 more steps until I'm cured. I have found some awesome ideas I want to try once the little one gets here. I seriously feel bad for this kid. This is a board that I started on my Pinterest dedicated to my son. I am curious to see if and how some of these tips and tricks work.

     I have an endless list of crafts and DIY I want to do, and absolutely zero motivation to do any of it. I feel like once it is pinned to my board it is finished. His nursery would probably rock if I ever got around to doing it.

     I am hoping to at least curb this addiction so I am not chasing my son around with thumb tacks and post it notes, screaming "But I saw this on Pinterest!!"
 
     I can see it now. One day, he will be cruising the internet on some contraption that his out of touch mother will not understand, and he is going to come across his childhood. All neatly arranged on a virtual cork board. That's right, sweetheart. Your mom is a big, fat cheater.

    

    

   

A bit of solicited advice...

     I am a first time mom (31 weeks and then some along). I like being well informed. What I lack in maternal instinct and common sense, I make up for with reading, asking my doctor questions, and asking for advice from people that have been where I currently am. Which by the way, I refer to the current stage in my life as the "stuffed sausage phase". I feel as if my body could not stretch any further. And bite your tongue if you are sitting there saying "Oh, you just wait!". I know. And if I want to cry because I think I look like a giant blueberry in a Detroit Lions shirt, you best believe I will sob like the best of them :)

     Keep in mind, I love getting advice. Solicited advice that is. I knew how it was going to be with people wanting to tell me how to do things, what to do, where to do it, etc. And I appreciate that people feel the need to help. But I have received some unsolicited advice that made me wonder how some people grew up to be so awesome. While understanding how others didn't.

      So if you are like me, and enjoy helpful tips, reassurances, and the feeling of knowing you are not alone, read on for some advice that I got from some women in my life that know a little more than I do at this point. And if you are passed the "stuffed sausage phase" and well into child raising, enjoy what other moms have contributed, and feel free to add your own!

     "Cherish the moments because time flies." ~everyone I talked to.

     "Never be too busy that you don't take the time to listen to your kids. What they have to say is important to them!" ~Mary E. (my mom) <3
   
      "Don't believe every thing you read. Your child will hold his head up, roll over, sleep all night, crawl, walk and all those wonderful firsts when they are good and ready! Don't freak out or be overly concerned if it's not on that amazing time line some man put together 30 yrs ago." ~Andrea S.

      "Always do what's right for you and your family and don't bother comparing. It will consume you." ~Amber J.

      "Sleep when the baby sleeps when you first come home! You just had a baby and you are going to be tired! The house work can wait until you wake up from naps." ~Michelle V.

      "Be yourself. Don't try to live up to what anyone else expects or says you should be. Motherly instincts are an incredible and real thing and even though you'll never be perfect, you'll be perfect for your child." ~Shelly R.

      "At a young age, if you raise them the right way, in their eyes you could be their Hero. Never take that for granted." ~Nichole M.

      "Communication with your significant other is vital. Don't assume he knows you would like help or need a break. If you want it or need it, ASK! Don't build up resentment because you think you are doing more. Men need to be told. They are horrible mind readers!" ~Megan M.
 
     "I would say don't let the negative things people say about your parenting get to you. Some woman swear by this or that or think you should never do some things. I say, I went through the 9 months and delivery. Let me raise my own children! However....don't hesitate to ask for help/opinions when you need it." ~Jennifer H.

      "Don't over analyze everything. With every situation I would read 2-3 books about it and I wasted so much time and energy. Once you become a mom it all comes naturally. Every day is a different day and you have to figure out how to make it work." ~Jessica H.


     "Anything that takes you 15 minutes now, like getting ready and walking out the door, will take you 45 minutes when you have a baby." ~Trisha S.

     "Sometimes you do have to get away from mommyhood and find yourself again. You will come back rejuvenated." ~Maggie B. 

    

I thought playing outside was free...

     So I was perusing the internet about mommy stuff, which by the way has taken up my life, and I came across this little gem of an article. Now I am not one to judge, but who would pay a woman to sit a block away drinking coffee while your child played unsupervised in Central Park?

     Yes. You read me right. I completely agree that children playing outside for hours at a time is a lost art. Growing up, my mom would kick us out of the house during the summer. We could come in to eat, pee, and nap. That was it. We had shade, a garden hose, unrelenting energy, and an awesome imagination. And somehow an endless supply of slip and slides! We were forced to get creative to have fun and learn how to interact with other kids. We didn't run around causing trouble. Well, most of us didn't. And, hallelujah, we survived adolescence!!! How can that be?!

      But you better believe my mother and every mother on that block knew where we were at all times. There is absolutely no way my mother would let us loose in Central Park unsupervised. Probably for the sake of other people, but that isn't the point.

     While I agree with this woman, and encourage independence, my son will have all the chances in the world to get his energy out on a playground, while I sit back and keep at least one eye on his whereabouts. Look at that! I just saved myself $350 big ones! I think I will treat myself to some new shoes!!

Just the beginning...

     I found out we were pregnant when I was 7 weeks along. Nick was in Chicago. I was home trying to figure out either the best place to hide or when I was going to tell him. Even though we had known each other for years (he is my brother's best friend) we had not been dating very long. You would think one would be an emotional wreck, terrified at the prospect of having a child with no immediate plans of one whatsoever. Not me. Call me a freak but the hours I sat home alone that night were probably the most at peace hours I have ever experienced in my life. It was just me and my baby. Something in me shifted and settled and I felt whole.

     Then reality hit. Holy crap!!! I'm gonna have a baby!!! A BABY!!!! Who in their right mind would let me have one of those?! Fast forward to a few minutes later ...hmmm. This could be fun. This world could use a mini me...*insert Dr. Evil laugh. And that has been my outlook ever since.

 *19 week ultrasound. It's a boy! And he's puttin' up a peace sign :)

     I am now 30 weeks along and we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our son, Kendrick John. He has already changed me and he isn't even here yet. I am still one of the most funny, completely inappropriate people I know ;) but I now have a sense of calm I thought I would never achieve. Zen if you will. Until I start craving a cinnamon sugar donut. Then all hell breaks loose. Not really. But I do get primal when it comes to dessert.

     I thought it would be interesting to share my experience. So far it hasn't been all sunshine and roses, but it has had some great moments. I will be forever teased about the time I transformed into a raging carnivore and wanted to do nothing but tear apart chunks of meat because I was so hungry and we had driven by a Buffalo Wild Wings.

*Me and Kendrick at 25 weeks :)

     So come along on my journey with me if you would like. I'm sure there will be something in these blog posts you can relate to :)