You're sucking the fun out of it!

     Whatever happened to letting kids be kids?
   
      I am a competitive person by nature, but when an extra-curricular activity or interest starts feeling like a job, then you are doing it wrong; or teaching it wrong. It's different if a child wants to try out for a sport, band, or school play. Practice, practice, practice! But, constructively criticize instead of picking them apart.

     I say this because just recently I took my nephew to his swim class. It was the third class in the series. I sat next to a mom and her dad. She had a child in the same level of the class as my nephew. During the entire 30 minute class they did nothing but pick apart the efforts of her kid. Apparently after your third class you should have the ability to out swim Michael Phelps, have perfect form, and be able to hold your breath for 5 minutes at a time. So after 30 minutes of picking this child apart, they said "Good job, buddy! It was perfect!" and that was all. They moved on to dinner plans. I roll my eyes.

     First off, unclench. You can't expect that much out of a 9 year old kid after his third class. It's ridiculous. Parents are often the reason a child gives up on something that started out as fun, and new to learn.

     Secondly, don't lie to the kid. What is he learning? They had no problem criticizing him when he was out of earshot, but when it came time to do it constructively they had nothing to say. The lesson doesn't stop when he gets out of the pool.

     And lastly, yes I am judging them. I didn't hide my side eye look from them either. Frankly, I don't care. I'm sure my parenting style will be judged constantly. But I will not be the reason my child gives up on something he was excited about or interested in.

    

And It Begins

My baby is becoming an independent person. I knew it was going to start happening, but I was not prepared for it to be so soon.

Kendrick has been sleeping in his bassinet in our room since he was born. We were obviously aware that this could not be a long term thing. Since the risk of SIDS gets drastically lowered at six months, I figured we could make the full transition then. And it would give me time to mentally prepare. A couple of months ago we started putting him in his crib for naps to get him used to his room, but had yet to put him in there overnight.

He had other plans last night. At 7 p.m. he passed out. It is not unusual. He tends to take a 20 minute nap around that time, then will go down for the night no later than 9:30 p.m. So I put him in his crib for the usual nap time. Five hours later he is still sleeping.

I am not. It was weird. My baby boy was sleeping soundly in his own room. While I loved that he was sleeping so amazing, I wanted to be selfish, grab him up and bring him into our room. He woke up around 12:30 a.m., got a diaper change, and a bottle. I got snuggles and formula all over me. Not going to lie. I got teary eyed. I had missed him. From the time I got home from work to when he fell asleep, it was only an hour and a half. That is not enough for me to spend with him after being away all day.

So he falls back asleep. I had a choice to make. Bassinet or crib? I gathered him up, got some extra snuggles, and carried my sleeping boy to his crib. While I didn't like it at first, I know it was the right decision. There will be times where I am going to have to let him do his own thing. And while it was just another sleepy night for him it was a pivotal moment for me. Even moms take baby steps.

Although, in four years I am going to be a wreck when he goes to school. A teaching certificate may be in order for me ;)

You Have Poked the Mama Bear

And she is pissed.

A lovely lady in my mom group shared this little morsel of a blog post published on fwtx.com. Fort Worth, Texas: The City's Magazine apparently doesn't care about their reputation. I do not want to generate readership for them by posting a link in my blog, but I also don't want to infringe on publishing rights. So with a big "Screw you Molly Forthright!!" (the author of said blog), here is the link:

http://fwtx.com/blogs/fwvoice/distracting-behavior

If you take the time to read this posted link, awesome! If not, here is a quick recap. The author of the blog, who apparently has zero sensibility, is answering a Q&A concerning a mom who began breastfeeding while in church and the woman behind her was distracted from the sermon. The person that wrote in, who was distracted, wanted to know what the proper etiquette was for distracting behavior in church?

The author proceeds to answer with ICK!! Really? REALLY? Mind you the author is a mom herself. She makes it sound like the mom was walking around with her business hanging out for the world to see. How can somebody be so clueless? Here is some etiquette, reader: How about you stop staring at a woman trying to feed her child? How about you take some responsibility for not listening to the sermon? Don't blame your lack of effort to listen to the Pastor on a woman doing the right thing and taking care of her kid! Is she supposed to let her child starve? And don't even suggest she go to the bathroom. Do you eat your meals while sitting on the toilet? No? I didn't think so.

Successfully breastfeeding a baby is hard work. It takes dedication, determination and a very strong willed woman to overcome the hurdles that some face trying to give their baby the best their is to offer. And now Miss Forthright wants to compare that to clipping nails and eating tuna sandwiches in someone's face. I roll my eyes and curse her stupidity. Thanks for setting us back decades.

Women are pressured enough and side eyed as it is when it comes to the way they choose to feed their baby. I seriously hope the magazine thinks twice before they publish something so condescending.

Good for her. She got people to read her blog. Maybe now she will educate herself about the liberties that mom's have when it comes to feeding their baby in public.

I Am My Mother

The phrase "I will never be like you" is probably the most uttered during adolescent years. I know I have said it. I'm sure you have, too. What is so horrible about being like our parents? If you were blessed, like me, you were given great parents, a loving home, and just enough dysfunction to give you a sense of humor. So why did I say those words? Ignorance. 

There are two things in life that will make you look back on those years full of raging, teenage hormones and make you shake your head: Maturity and having your own child. One or the other will do the trick, but if you experience both you might as well add a head scratch to that shake. 

My 4.5 month old son has a new game and the rules consist of this: he pretends to cry and I have to give him attention and call him a cry baby. The prize is I get to hear his amazing laugh. Until I look away. Then the game starts over. The other day we were playing this very complicated game when I jokingly said, "I will give you something to cry about." I had to catch myself from looking around the room for my mom. That got me thinking of other similarities we have. We cry when we laugh, and we both hate grocery shopping with a passion. We put our families first and there is nothing we wouldn't do for them. 

Being like my mother isn't so bad. Just stop me when I start snorting when I laugh.

I Will Practice What I Preach

I have always been a dreamer. I like to stretch my imagination. Not to sound pompous, but I was blessed with a brain. I had goals and plans for my life. After high school, I was going to go to college. I didn't. I had no idea what I wanted to be when I "grew up" and it became a decade long excuse, among others.  I don't know what happened, but I got off track. Or did I? Maybe the concrete road to success was too smooth for me. Maybe,  I am more of a pot hole, bumpy road kind of gal. It seems that way.

I know how I got to where I am. Loud, fast and without regret.

But my son has changed me. I am patient, calm, and inspired. I want him to experience a great life. I want him to LIVE his life, and follow his dreams. But, how can I teach him that if I am not doing it myself? I don't want him to look at me one day and in response to something life changing or significant say, "Well, you didn't so why do I?"

I was curled up with him the other day, and he was just looking at me with his big, beautiful eyes and they were filled with trust and wonder...and eye boogers. So I gave him a bath and the whole time he was smiling and laughing, I was thinking of ways I could make my life better. For him.

The next day I dropped all the excuses, apprehension, and reservations I had and began the process of getting enrolled in college courses. So now I am a mom, an employee, a "housewife", and a student. Not a single person on this planet can look at me and say I am not trying.

I feel rejuvenated. And I have my son to thank for that. He is not even 5 months old and he has already inspired me so much.

I think the increase in posts I have written was my first clue!