*somehow this ended up on my other blog. Weird. I have since had my baby! :)
So if you know me or have been following my posts, you know that I am expecting my first child. I am 18 weeks along to be exact. About two weeks ago, we received the news that I was a carrier of Cystic Fibrosis, and another devastatingly scary genetic disease. Not gonna lie. I cried for days when I got the news. Apparently pregnancy is supposed to be stress free. I didn't get that memo.
So in order to put our minds at ease, my boyfriend/ father of my child had the same genetic blood test done to see if he was a carrier as well. According to my doctor, 1 in 28 caucasians carry the gene. That covers both of us. Awesome.
After a long two weeks of waiting for his results, I received the news and very excitedly passed it along that his results were negative. The baby is safe. So that morning...
I got ready for work, thinking the whole time that my BF was my wild card and that his genetic makeup saved our baby from the possibility of leading a much tougher life than what this world will probably already give her, or him. (We don't know which yet!)
For years, I wondered why I didn't have a child yet. I wanted it so badly. I had even been married at one point and I thought for sure a baby and a husband were part of my grand scheme.
This thought process led me to believe even more strongly that I was meant to have a baby with Nick. What if someone I had been with in the past had been a carrier and we got pregnant? Would my child have been stricken with such a life altering disease? How would things have been different? That is why Nick is my wild card. And regardless of the hurdles we come across, we make it over together. And if we don't, we always seem to gravitate back together.
After all this thinking and getting ready for work, I hopped into my car. And that is when my day turned into a scene, or scenes, from the movie "Bruce Almighty".
I turned the key in the ignition, thanked my car for starting, and my ears were greeted with the chorus of Pat Benatar's "We Belong". I smiled.
I got back to thinking of our baby and the disease and difficulty "she" was spared from. I thought of the possibilities of "her" life, and I vowed to make it amazing. As I did that, I drove by a church with a digital sign that read "He has shown merciful love".
Had I not been paying attention, I would have missed these little affirmations. Needless to say, my faith has been restored in everything positive, pure, and good.
A huge thanks to everyone that sent up prayers, offered support, and did some major positive thinking. I feel like I could take on the world right now :)
