Goodbyes' Suck

Back in the day, and by that I mean a year ago, K would scream and cry for me when I would drop him off at daycare. It tore at my heart. It also made me long for the days where he would no longer be suffering through separation anxiety. I hated seeing him go through that and I hated having to leave him so I could go to work. Mom guilt at its finest, I tell ya'.

I never wanted him to be okay with me leaving him, but I wanted the anxiety to be over. And it is. He is a very independent 2 year old now, and his longing for mom to stick around a little longer is fading. It is being replaced with the interest in other kids at daycare, the fun crafts he is going to make, and the knowing that he will have a fun day and be well taken care of. And all of that makes me happy and makes me feel better about his day while I am gone. But...

Now instead of trying to extricate myself from surprisingly strong little hands and of cries of "Mom! Mom!", he happily joins in on the fun whilst I easily leave and walk to my car... head hung low just wishing he would yell for his mama one last time. And in case you are wondering, no I do not want my son to cry uncontrollably and experience anxiety. I just selfishly crave the verbal affirmation that he needs me.

Because he is growing up. He is 2!! Seriously, what am I going to do when he gets his driver's license and a car, or goes off to college? I'm not exactly sure what I may do but if you know me this is what YOU should do...lock me up :) Because I just might lose it!

Reasons Why My Son is Laughing

     K is hilarious. He is only 13 months so he isn't cracking jokes yet, but he will. He makes me laugh every day. Even when I am trying to be stern. He knows I am a sucker for his laugh, and he uses it to his advantage. Mark my words. Here are a few reasons why my son is laughing:

1. He farted. From an early age boys think farts are funny. It is the times where he doesn't laugh afterwards that I approach with caution. Admit it. Baby farts are funny; sometimes impressive.

2. The dog stuck his tongue up his nose. Not his own...K's. K likes to get dog kisses. He especially laughs when the dog covers his face and gets all up his nose. Keep in mind it is WWIII when I try to wipe K's nose. But it's A-Okay when the dog does it.

3. He plays a challenging game of "catch the dog by the tail". Haha. This poor dog. I laugh just thinking about it. K likes to stand behind the dog and try to catch the dog's wagging tail. Sometimes he catches it, gets a good grip, and doesn't let go; which causes the dog to turn in circles. Does K let go? No. He hangs on for the ride. When he cannot catch his tail, he will just stand there and let the dog smack him repeatedly in the face. Mind you, the dog weighs 100 pounds...

4. I am trying to correct behavior. This one is my fault. For example, I was getting us ready to leave for the day; me to work and him to his sitter's house. I'm gathering our things and he is being too quiet. I go out to the kitchen and find him in the middle of the floor, covered in water and sitting in a puddle. He is not supposed to play in the dog's bowls and yet he is gleefully swinging an empty bowl around his head. How can you not laugh at that? So I pick him up to go change his clothes, except he is dripping so I am carrying him straight-arm in front of me. He puts his head back and laughs all the way to the bedroom...he knows...

5. My killer dance moves. We have dance parties. Watch out when Billie Jean comes on...just sayin'. ;)

New Beginnings

It's usually the same story. When a new year rolls around everyone makes resolutions, is freshly motivated, and ready to take on the world. The possibilities are endless. The 365 days laid before you are a clean slate. I do not make resolutions. I will not make resolutions this year, either. I am making goals. Goals are not limited to 12/31/whatever the year may be. However, a few of my goals I would like to attain by the end of this year. For me and my little family, I will.


1. Get a "new" car. New to me, anyway. My poor car. I bought it brand new when I was 18. My first big purchase! So I have had it for a few years ::wink wink::. It is time to invest in something else...with four doors. I have another year of rear-facing my son in his car seat. Two doors do not bode well with that. K is my car buddy. We deserve something fresh and "new". I already have my eye on a car, so this goal could be met very soon. And I am excited!

2. Have a decent amount of money sacked away for a house. This one I am really excited about. Thankfully my parents are on board with me regarding this goal, and are being very welcoming with their home. I am very grateful that I will not be putting my hard-earned money into rent. K and I will have a house that will be our home. For that, I am motivated.

3. Get inducted into an honor society. This is a personal goal. If I keep it up I can reach this goal in June. I have 3 years of school left so I will have to keep working hard to maintain my GPA after/should I get inducted. For that, I am motivated.

4. Be money smart. This isn't really a goal; it is more of a mindset that will help me achieve my other goals. I think about all of those coupons that expired and laid dying in the bottom of my purse, and I realize, it actually does add up. So throughout the year I will be aware of my spending. I will pay cash for gas, use coupons, pack a lunch for work, buy in bulk, etc. All of the little things will help me gain a large thing. If you have any ideas that can help me cut unnecessary spending, feel free to leave them in the comments! I am always open to suggestions.

Happy New Year and good luck with your resolutions!!!!

What's in a name?

     For those of you who read these ramblings of my experiences in motherhood, I have changed the name of my blog to encompass some changes in my life. The new name has a very simple meaning. Let's break it down into two parts, shall we?

     "Single Mom". I assume that my readers are smart. The phrase itself is easy to understand; the life of a single mother is not. Being a single mom is hard work, just like for any parent. This single mom battles frustration, exhaustion, loneliness, financial strain, mom-guilt, etc. But, I embrace the pride that follows a successful day. I relish the hugs and random drool kisses. I wake up every day and make the choice to be strong, courageous, determined, thankful, and positive. That is a lot of choices to make when you are barely awake and your son is performing a ballet of "trust falls" and rail jumps in his crib at 6 a.m. when he should be sleeping. But, oh, that laugh of his. Music. His happy demeanor, thriving development, awesome health, and how he falls into an easy sleep are proof enough to me that I am rocking this mom thing :)

     "Double Shot". I know what you are thinking. Bring me ALL the alcohol!!! But that isn't the case or the meaning here. When I say "double shot" I mean, when I screw up I'm calling mulligan...until I get it right. And if I never get it right then it will be fine the way it is. I am not perfect. I will screw up. I get that. Besides, this mindset helps me battle the pressure of being a single mom and the scrutiny that it entails. And if that doesn't work...well, then line up the shooters and bring on the chocolate milk. Mama had a rough day :)